Ho-Ho-Home Invasion

He's big He's weird His beard Is never cookie cleared. As old as his tongue But older than his teeth Is a very odd way To describe yourself Don't you think?

I mean, There are many biggies Many weirdies An assortment of beardies (quite possibly without cookies) So I suppose, It doesn't seem as odd, That one would need to dress in red and white To distinguish himself from “that” blight.

And to ensure A holiday magical disposition Because what other way Could breaking and entering homes Be allowed during the Christmas season?

The reindeer for sure, Are a very nice touch Although a flying herd does seem absurd About their “droppings” I would worry much!

But many ills can go untamed, When philanthropy is named And so with a merry jingle, In your house (and mine) will he mingle, While we sleep our cares away, On our couches he may lay, In our backyards he may play.

And although we give him cookies and milk, Should we really allow this kind of ilk? From a strange uncle of no relation, Of which we've given no official invitation.

But he gives things to us you mention, He has helper elves of his invention, Although who's to say, That from one house presents are taken, Another is given that day?

Alas we all know, Re-gifting can be more miraculous than snow!

So this year I think the real gift isn't stole From some hack that's grifted in from a pole This year perhaps we can make a bit of mirth By giving that lard lad a very wide berth, Forgoing that nightly ritual this Christmas Eve, And spending more time with loved ones, By giving Santa the heave!