Two Flying Farts

It’s possible that you do not give a flying fart about the content here. But what about two? I think your saying there’s a chance, and I like those odds.

If there’s ever a good time to Dental, I’m sure I don’t know when. It’s like an executioners march to “the chair”, Just to get you in. They have to take “records” of your visit, Lest litigation should ensue. And never ever directly let you see What they are about to do to you. When the time comes for service You’re supplied with a little gas, To make you think of better days and, OUCH!! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT! After a bit they let you out, All light-headed and bruised. And with a smile say “See you in 6 months!” Leaving you very confused. Enough is enough! This will not stand! So I’ve hired a bodyguard named Dan. Dan is strong, Dan is mean. Dan has no teeth For the Grim Teether to clean. The next time that Teether tries to attack by appointment, Dan will intervene! But Dan is imaginary, And I am 10. And my mom is telling me to stop squirming again. Having clean teeth is pointless and, Wait? What’s that creek? And why do I feel funny? Like I have to sleep?

The Whemerack is invisible, and sits atop the trees. Fanning enormous fingers among the branches and the leaves. He snatches birds and bats and sometimes squirrels that climb up, up, up too high. He snatched my friend Ben one time Don’t ask. Ok I’ll tell you why. Ben was flying my kite you see, And I really shouldn’t say But the weather was bad and stormy that day. Now generally Whemeracks are peaceful If you aren’t a bird, bat, or squirrel But you mustn’t scare a Whemerack, You really mustn't Or you may find yourself in a bit of peril. Well now you know the kite was stuck, And Ben went up, up, and up Now what Ben saw I cannot say Because Ben never came home that day But between you, me, and the trees I see I think Ben befriended that ole Whemerack And knowing Ben, probably gave him quite the lick’n! I imagine they are up in the trees together now Snagging the birds, bats, and squirrels to eat, I hear they taste just like chicken!

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